OK. If you have been visiting this planet of ours for at least twenty years or more..... you have heard of the term 'affair.' This is NOT a new terms and it has been going on since the ancient days. Read stories about Potiphar, Tamar, Bathsheba and Sarah(Abraham dropped her off at another man's house). Some people claim they would NEVER have an affair, yet they married a divorced person, or they divorced their previous spouse, leaving that spouse open for more entanglements and affairs. Others have not admitted that throughout their life they have had multiple 'lovers' or crushes. When one crush decides not to give into the lures and control of the pursuer, he or she moves on with life, or commits vicious acts like stalking.
We know by burden of proof through religious superiors that women can get raped any where. Guess what. Women can also get entangled in an emotional affair anywhere. Some women are wise about these strange sensations, and some women are fools, giving themselves over to the lusts. Others have simply called it love and romance, seeking permission to add an additional man to her already conditioned husband who loves her.
How long does it take to get 'catch' the cold and flu of an emotional affair? Probably less than three days and a visit with the same man for around an hour a day. He never even needs to touch her skin! All he may do is speak! She could be any where, taking her children to lessons, a carnival or a store!
How is a woman to let off a man, who may not truly love her body for what it truly is......a temple. She would be wise to consider speaking to her husband, if she is currently married, and ask HIM what she should do to approach the man with kindness and not act as if she has venomn stored up to spew feminism and hatred of labeling the man as 'scum' or other foul term. In fact, he probably truly has a good side to him that would have caused emotions to elevate in the first place. He also may not feel as if he is getting a good submissive wife at home, so he approaches the more vulnerable or aware women on the planet, to fuel his pride by a woman who will encourage rather than berate him.
If a woman finds herself in these types of situations, should she immediately run out the door! Escaping from the possibility of a truly good honest friend, or should she give into the lusts and let him touch even a hair on her skin, or should she rather do the best thing, and ask him appropriately what his intentions may be. The wisest thing, in this situation is to ASK him what his intentions may be. You as a woman need to know your body, and know his. Thus nothing foolish or inconsiderate would occur between this 'emotional affair' relationship.
He, being a decent gentleman, will ask to see you again. If he is escorting you out of the public eye, into a dark location, you and your children need to seek an alternative method of speaking with such a man. You should NOT speak with him again if at all possible. He may have a criminal record. You, speak to your husband, or father or brother on how best to approach a man who has a current relationship, and approach him safely. Next, consider your body. It is a temple. Many women have resolve to trash their body with abortion practices. This hurts unborn children as well as men in general. They never seem to find out what self-control truly means, when their own conceptions are covered up in hidden locations. They continue on with affairs and this leads men to be judged by God himself for their ungodly and wicked practices. Ask him if he would like more children(with his wife or otherwise), and if his answer is 'no' then a youthful women should not entangle her with such a man or she commits lewd whoardom. He will answer in kind answer if he is kind hearted and aware.
Second, if he starts to mention issues or problems with his current spouse, continue to have a listening ear. He may not realize that you too, have equally as vicious reactions to life difficulties. Perhaps you have found God's graciousness and are now able to control such tensions in life. Do NOT mention that he should come to you for these problems, or offer him a solution for these issues. He is a man, you don't want to be his solution, only his listening ear.
Third, consider meeting his wife and or children. They do not have to like you. You cannot help that this 'emotional affair' occurred. It is like a flu virus, and naturally occurred. If is how a woman handles such an issue that reveals who she is and intends to be. If you have information on how his wife may attract her husband again, offer that information. Do not assume that you can and should be an opinion for her. She knows how her husband is good and how her husband is bad. She only needs to find the good in him, despite human weakness.
Fourth, do not be afraid to allow other community members in on the relationship the man would like to have with you. This way, you are always in the light of other people's eyes and ears. They cannot pass judgment if they know the truth of the situation.
Fifth, do not dress attractively or intentionally 'hot.' If you already have a beautiful figure and body shape or personality, do not go out of your way to entice more entanglements into your life.
Sixth, keep boredom at bay. Have activities to do with your family and friends besides 'thinking about him' all the time. The thinking phase will pass, and before long you will simply see that he is truly just like any other man. Give or take three to six months, and the heat will wear off. He will either decide he would like to continue with a gentlemen-style friendship, or he will find a flaw in your character and move on by that time. Usually if a man can win a woman within three to six months and get her to do adult things, his desires for such things will wear out. Be strong. Have integrity. You can hold good character in this. Put your body on the cross with Christ. Do not bow to the desires of the flesh or satan or even the world.
Seventh. Pray for him and his family. He may or may not be a believer. He may or may not have goodness in his heart. When you pray for him, you are destroying Satan's plan to destroy his life as well as your future.
Eighth. Do NOT look at an 'emotional affair' as if it is wicked and evil. God created sex and he created it to be pleasurable and good. You may need to pick up a book like 'intended for pleasure' by Ed Wheat. Women who are not wise about sexuality are more likely to end up being a cheater or be cheated upon. Be aware that even an 'emotional affair' can reignite pleasures and sensations that can restore your current marriage! As strange as that sounds, fueling more love rather than just religion can help human life heal from hurts and pains from the past and restore, true and meaningful relationship. The emotional affair does just that, you must be honest with your spouse that it has occurred, and you must take the time to question the intentions of the man pursuing you.
Beware beware beware! GOD DOES JUDGE SIN OF ADULTERY. If you find your self or the man pursuing you to be bitter toward former spouse......run! God can and does spew judgment on adulterers and adultresses! Sometimes he can use power to take the life of such a wicked person from planet earth. Know the difference (adultery = dishonesty about sensations) (emotional affair = honesty with pure motives and respect for body the temple)
ps. this is written by a woman who has been around a lot of 'men' in college days. one woman in classroom full of guys. It is a part of part of our human heart to want such purity and not to be taken advantage of by the adversary.