Tuesday, December 10, 2013
To Love My Husband, To love My Body, Is It His or Is It Mine
This is a response to a woman who was concerned that she was giving in to please her husband, all the while, not giving attention to the needs of her own body. For example: drinking with spouse, working for income so that she lost her soul and such.
Its great to hang out with the guys, so to speak,or your husband in your instance I was always a tomboy and hated the low-life gossip and scorn. There is a point where you NEED to speak up if you want to work on clearing up your own health or follow a different route that seems to be better and healthier for both of you or even more godlier.
In our home I am in to being outdoors from time to time. I've studied something interesting like eating wild-edible foods. I also like to try new recipes like lacto-fermented recipes, sourdough or other interesting foods. I'm interested in studying the biblical calendar and hebrew and even visiting the different cultures in our neighboring community. I've done unassisted birthing. These are all healthier than modern society practices. I never force him to do anything that I would like to try. In some ways I maintain a complete independence from visionary husband. But I make sure I am clearly communicating that it is my decision to try new things. NEVER force HIM to do what YOU would like to try.
As far as alcohol and drinking are concerned, I would definitely say clearly, "I want to improve my health and not put holes in my brain (which alcohol does do in study) and put toxins in my body that it does not need" I've worked in the nursing home caring for old-women intoxicated by that stuff (that is actually very easy to make in nature). Those women were not kind ones to care for because they did not express respect for their own body OR for others.
Not only that but you may also say "I like to become more feminine and not so sex-addict attracting yet still beautiful", so I always say in the clearest way "I don't want to attract attention from men to whom I'm not married but I would like to wear this nice dress" if my husband says something of that nature to try to show manliness in the flesh. That way I'm not boiling over in anger and I am not giving into every whim without a "mind" of my own. Instead I will smile at him regularly as much as I can and ALWAYS kindly say he is strong, handsome, intelligent, kind, boyish or something along that line......that gives him comfort despite our outward fleshly appearances.
If I had no children.....would I give into the unhealthy foods, I don't know. I may, but I believe I would pick up extra skills like crafting, trying healthy recipes, new languages or something else to fill in my time on earth.
As far as swimsuit attire is concerned, I pick out a rash-neck top and a skirt. I have heard some women say a cheap method of getting a long swim skirt is to take good-will Swim-Trunks for men and turn them into a skirt for woman. Yes your husband WILL like it when you put on "nothing" to the pool, but for respect of "why" you are going swimming, a good modest apparel is appropriate for a woman who doesn't want to pose as a stumbling block or in another word I don't want to steal money from that grocery store even though you say I should...... I would love to go to the pool to swim laps if I had $ and I also would like to try scuba diving again......
Homeschooling, well, just need to keep it relaxed. In my area, my father and his family in particular has discrimination problems against it. They just don't want to understand it as mother was a one-room public school teacher. My husband would like to ensure the kids have reading, writing skills and such with no in-cement say on how they get those skills. I'm mostly interested in it because the stats come back that the children are more well-rounded. I kind of battle between what to do, yet I am capable of helping my kids pick up on reading as I am able.
Yes.....you are right. You are "failing" when you don't stand up for yourself and your body. I see my sister doing that to her body "thinking" it will make her husband love her more. It never does. Both end up loosing in the end. I believe good education on the problems of alcohol in the body will give you strength to stand up for yourself. A good resource is to Google, Unleash the Power of the Female Brain. This is a book you MUST read to understand psychology and what you need to stand up for your body as a whole. It is written by a MALE but he was always surrounded by females. OF course the bible is the final source while this is definitely like reading a book about gardening your mind in a healthier manner.
A great FREE resource to help you stand up for your "body" yet maintain a loving relationship in a female way that respects and understands male-female differences is Google search fascinating womanhood pdf. Both will help you understand how to put $ into your husband's mind alone and rely on faith to accumulate what you need to survive.
Always keep the wonderful assignments in mind by Debi Pearl. And USE that POWERFUL mind of yours to create more Biblical based assignments to build a more wonderful marriage.
********These are a few thoughts I posted a few months ago on a separate internet site.