I posted this issue on a forum. Some woman that visit the forum are confused about issues like this so I thought I would expand on this topic as it is often twisted in what people would claim to be Christian circles but are in fact circles in the middle of a hurricane and a battle against the throws of impurity that surround all of us.. Below it begins:
Sorry this is such a difficult situation. I hate issues like this but I like it when I turn to scripture first and not our own "emotional" feelings. I have my various thoughts on this matter and hate the idea of throwing stones [verbal and physical]. I sway with the church or the worldly thinking like anyone else....but I know that Christ offers ultimate purity on issues like this. There are times where woman are married for abusive purposes before coming to the knowledge of Christ in persecution countries etc......the list can grow about the battles of impurity. Sorry this is more of a blog post.
When God says "love your enemies" how can two Christians decide to get divorced? When God says "love your enemies" how can a Christian who was married to a non-christian, get married to another person and say "I hate my former spouse" that would mean that the remarried person did not follow God in the first place.
Following Christ is a narrow way and is not easy. Following Christ is a separate matter from building a large home and homeschooling. Even Muslims can do that. Following Christ is just that, putting God (the father of Christ) first no matter what. [By the way muslims do not believe God had a son....may we show them the love of God]
Woman at the well.......stay with the man to whom you are currently with even if you have had 5 boyfriends/husbands. You are called to follow Christ with where you are at. If you are called as a servant.....follow Christ as a servant. etc. John chapter 4 is a wonderful passage that shows us how to find true PURE living water that reaches to everlasting life. It has nothing to do with following the ways of this world ---> divorce-remarriage-boyfrined-divorce-remarriage-boyfriend pattern etc. His spirit is pure enough to keep us strong enough to face the battle ALL woman have to face: the battle against impurity. Please please please read John chapter 4 over and over again until you feel secure in the loving hands of Christ alone. The love of man will follow AFTER you find the love of Christ's holy spirit presence.
I like the messages from this man and he has much knowledge first century churches and isn't catering to emotional feelings of the people. Scripture first mentality. He doesn't cater to fornicators nor to divorced and remarried people. He also doesn't cater to "strict" unscriptural celibacy. Sharp swords are necessary in our western churches who are leaving the cancer of hatred and disease right within the churches as the western churches cater to worldly thinking rather than scirptural thinking.
I encourage you to listen to these messages and study further in scripture so that you do not make wrong turns in life. 21 is still a young age. They say that full maturity isn't until woman are 27 or 28. An age where most woman can handle their marriages effectively by scientific sociology study.
I can guarantee that many distractions and emotional "feelings" will get in your way. Someone will distract you with "Yay hath God said." Even the intelligent miss the mark if they have no knowledge of the word and what it says.
So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth [refers from believing to unbelieving departed]; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
The passage above by Paul didn't encourage second marriage in any way. Rather he expounds upon the fact that a relationship with Christ is BETTER than marriage on this earth. Hence he says [she is happier if she so abide].
I believe the books "every woman's battle" by shannon ethridge and "before you meet prince charming" by Sarah Mally really really help women understand how valuable and precious purity AND a relationship with Christ is and can be when it is nurtured. I hope ALL of you decide to read those books, and give them to your daughters at some point in your lives. Our society and our world thrives on what it thinks to be living water which is infact dirty and impure water. These books also help expand upon 1 co 7:38-40