raggedy cottage and garden: What is the best way to "raise" young children....??

Meaning.....what is the best method to ensure that the children are getting attention and freedom from neglect in a "day care" type of world? Even a SMART woman in a GOOD HOME environment would need to consider these things if SHE wants to be a "good mother." (I'm not saying perfect....meaning the children always have straight teeth and polished boots....but just good) In reality.....a "good worker" is ALSO a "good mother"....trying to be a physician without experience is folly.

Answer:

Simply encourage mothers of YOUNG CHILDREN to stay with their children as much as possible until the youngest child is 4 years old.

Do NOT tell a "working woman" that she should use the "daycare system" to succeed in her career. No, that is probably THE worst advice.....because practically all her $$$$ and emotional strength is given to the day-care and NOT to actual things that a young child needs.

For instance, for me, before my middle child was born, I worked off and on in odd jobs. I made part-time employment, but I ALWAYS had to find a babysitter. The results, were not the best of the best, because issues OFTEN arise in tension between "values" of the babysitter and mother.........

Each family situation WILL be different. I promise.

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Follow this plan and life will be LESS hectic for your home and for your husband in various ways especially if both of you are committed to the family and marriage. (Most of this is for economic purposes...so it may not be necessary for a more financially sufficient family, but should be considered.)

1. Before the youngest is 4 years old, be a stay at home mom and homemaker. Do not hire a nanny. Babysitters ALWAYS end up robbing the child's heart. NEVER consider even trying a part-time employment where you must make "the boss" happy. No, you want your children to be happy, content and obedient to you (meaning they want to pick up their toys with a smile on their face....no complaining). Even in cases where poverty could lead to homelessness, consider moving in with relatives if possible. If you need a "food card" to get by as your husband is "unemployed" or "messed up" or something, then that is what you need. Garden (containers work too) and grow own food when possible. Pantry for extra needed grocery items. Buy bulk foods. Simplify. (If needed, pick up a "pro-spanking" book....but don't over emphasize this issue....as general exposure to TRUTH and contemplating how to do what is right is more valuable... like montessori stuff, but with biblical theme.)

2. When the OLDEST is AT LEAST 10 years old(and preferably youngest older than 4) you may consider outside employment. (Intellectually gifted could return to their chosen career). Even online-employment that takes up time and energy. Start out in small amounts where the oldest can try a little taste of baby sitting. If you have more than 5 children....with 2 children, 2 years old and younger, the oldest should be at least 11 years old. Avoid working more than 10 hours a week for about a year until you know what your home can handle.

3. When the OLDEST has a handle on babysitting and shows maturity (it would be nice if the oldest can do his school-work well too), you may start thinking about 20 hours a week working. Try to find hours extremely early in the morning before the children wake up. (like working at a restaurant, starting up a small "breakfast business," working at a nursing home, cleaning homes etc.)

4. NEVER consider working more than 20 hours a week especially with children under age 16 and you don't "run your own business." WHY? Because you WANT your child to know "the bible" and other facts about how they behave in the home, in the community and among family. Without proper respect towards God and Man.....the child will wander into strange ideas.....I promise (the media, even local media, keep things according to their ways...not God's ways). The internet and "strange books" are out there seeking to devour the children.....with political or other types of manipulations. In some cases, severe dangers (politically motivated demoralizing indoctrination ideas in certain schools) Even some way-ward or disrespectful family members can try to encourage the children to go .... "the wrong way." Some more dangerous than others. Each situation is different. Even if a mother works in a school system "part-time"....(which even home-school mothers do this), someone needs to be there to encourage the correct directions in life away from typical school hours.

5. If you "run your own business," you could possibly work more than 20 hours a week. If you are in severe poverty, where your housing is going to go, and extended family simply cannot deal with your "children" in their home, you could pick up more hours as needed......but I wouldn't recommend it if you have biblical faith. Let the "farm go" ..... Let the "family heirloom house" go.....

6. I'm not going to give the specifics of the "social activities" a parent wants their children to participate within because each "50 mile radius" is different, but ensure that they get and give enough attention to "elders" in their life. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles and so forth. The more wisdom they can gain from the extra special people, the better. These people are not just "flies" which need to be swatted....they are there to bring the light of truth into your children's lives. Change in the heart occurs when they realize humanity didn't just arise without family life. In some cases, a family member went through something tragic in history, from which they could learn (wars, famines, escape from xyz, health etc etc).

7. For education, think about the MAJOR LIFE NEED education from about 5th grade to 8th grade level (11-14 years). Everything a child learns "after 5th grade," could be learned freely as someone encourages him or her to "pick up a book." Life-skills are MORE likely to be needed after the 8th grade, though a general EXPOSURE to good vs. evil of life is needed until age 20ish. Faith values are important in that regard......to guard the heart. (Public education may be needed for some children between age 11-14....so don't assume EVERY FAMILY can possibly pick up a book and start contemplating how to overcome their own insecurities.) If a public-education is used, ensure that it is not "the only" source of education, especially under the age of 10. Pull the children out of school for a semester and visit a few extra museums etc. Public schools are a "daycare system" in disguise.....(good and bad systems exist just like good and bad daycare)

8. The same is true for getting a "degree" or "post-secondary education" (GED for some people) while caring for your children. Before the youngest is the age of 4, ONLY go through classes that allow you to take the classes "on-line" or away from "the campus," so that your pattern of interaction with your child is not interrupted.....(don't even CONVINCE me that the nursing degree is more important than your 2 year old child.....GIVE ME A BREAK....I know what it means to become a well trained physician....wisdom with interaction with your child will be more valuable than a medical textbook.). Then as the OLDEST child is above age 10 and youngest is over the age of 4....think about SLOWLY getting into classes that are "on-campus." All the time it takes to study/go to class etc. should NEVER be more than 10 hours for certain age group of child and never over 20 hours for the typical teenage year child.

So that is a basic summary.

PLEASE DO consider these things.

If there is a public library in town, then your children can find entertainment and there is a way to educate. If there is a "public park" in town, then your children can learn how to build a fort.....on a nice day....

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