What is safe and unsafe polyamory? -love thy neighbor-

To begin with a person needs to discuss what is true about human relationships in a monogamous relationship.

1. It is not safe to assume you can own your partner for life.  No only Jesus/the creator/redeemer can actually own a person.  When a couple marries, sometimes one spouse follows Jesus and the other does not.

2. It is not safe to be consistently angry at your spouse (anything from financial issues to things your spouse eats).  If you are, then you do not understand Jesus and the price he paid for his bride.

3. It is not safe to assume that you are better than your spouse.  Such lack of humility will always fail.

4. It is not safe to take over your spouse's intellectual or spiritual gifts.  These are given to the person and cannot be removed from the person for life.

5. It is not safe to assume that your spouse with no injuries before marriage will never get injured by another person in interactions in this life.

6. It is not safe to constantly watch everything that your spouse wears and believe you should control it, except in times where this is the case for necessary safety and blending in.

In essence, if you truly love your spouse, then if there was a major disaster in your area, natural or man-made, you would WANT your spouse to be safe.  Even if that spouse was raped or fell into belief that you had died and found a new "lover."

So with poly relationships, there are similar safety mechanisms.

1. It is not safe to form a relationship with a new person who has invested time and energy into "lust" after other people.  Anything from pornography to internal desires in public areas.

2. If is not safe to assume that forming a relationship with someone who does not share moral values is safe. (Do you avoid sports games, dirty/scary movies, certain types of music, certain religious practices etc.  So why try so hard to build a relationship that will not balance itself.)

3. It is not safe to build a relationship where the only thing that matters to that person is bed-room activity.

4. It is not safe to build a relationship with someone who doesn't respect yours or their current spouse's minority condition or heritage.

5. It is not safe to form a relationship with someone who does not want to meet and respect your current children, close family or friends.

6. It is not safe to form a relationship with a person who will not tell you the truth about any sexually transmitted diseases.

7. It is not safe to form a relationship where the person pursuing the relationship is not patient. (Check character)

8. It is not safe to form a deep relationship with someone outside the marriage who does not understand the meaning of such relationships.  They don't understand open-marriage, agree with or understand those types of things of that nature.

All in all.  Polyamoury people may end up "feeling" single in their local area while being married simply because the current spouse has his/her issues and desires are not getting met, while stopping the relationship will not actually improve the situation at hand.

Follow God's will in one's life is the best plan.  It may be that you need to stay with your current situation at hand for safety reasons.  Jesus offers the most love for humanity.  Trust that reality.

Note: This truth is that polyamoury should never be used as an excuse to commit adultery or promote things that are in opposition to God's laws.  It should never be used as an excuse to "divorce and remarry" (John the baptist spoke of that issue).  Jesus LOVED Mary, Martha and Lazarus (and the whole world too).  A man has and CAN say safely to a couple.....I love you -Sue and Jim, Jim and Sue-, without committing an act of adultery, it is a deep feeling that is REAL for godly people.

Furthermore remember the bible verses about affection in marriage: "Ex 21:10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money."