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If you or a friend have read this book and do not consider lightly the effect of abuse, do not hesitate to get help immediately! Some abuse is easy to overcome and is simple errors in human behavior, some abuse needs godly men and women to over come, and some abuse needs professional services. If a wife is disabled (wheelchair, loss of limbs, loss of hearing or seeing, mental dependent etc etc) or simply will never be able to find a job, ensure her safety first and foremost! A terrible marriage is NOT worth loosing a loved one. Dependent Adult Abuse is not a Joke. If you have been defamed in your character because you simply couldn't "meet up" to some standard by a certain group that wanted to take advantage of your reputation, ability and skill, do not fear getting wisdom and resources to overcome the burden this places on you in your life. Defamation of character is a crime.
Here is a pretty basic article that explains that this ministry appeals to a sort of "family idolatry" or worship of "man" and not worship of the "son of man." Here is a basic article explaining the problems with the ministry.
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This is a continuation of the evaluation of "Created To Be His Helpmeet" book. This book is "useful" for the most part, but like described in Part 1, beware of getting led around too much by the false-accusations made by this couple. They say "Eat the meat and spit out the bones." For example, look up the various bible verses and incorporate them into your heart whether it is in KJV or in the original Hebrew scripture, but drop off the ideas about a woman causing unruly behavior in her spouse out the window. Be led by the spirit of truth in the word more than the words that are mentioned by the author of this particular book. Meditate regularly on the LAW, PROPHETS and GOSPEL to understand the kingdom which is not developed by the hands of men (or by the words from my scribbling) but by his standards of righteousness, justice and holy life.
***MOSES IS MENTIONED MORE OFTEN IN THE NEW TESTAMENT THAN ANY OTHER OLD TESTAMENT FIGURE***
Before I begin, let me post what my HUSBAND posted on his Facebook page. HOLY living is SO important:
15. To Be Sober
**This is probably one of the good chapters. No one wants to go to a restaurant that looks like the people never washed the dishes, never tidy up the tables and never take care of their appearance. Make the home to be BETTER than a restaurant. This is the place of peace for the husband AND for the wife. Don't assume the home belongs to only one body. No everyone in the home has a spirit.
**No woman can be a "Martha Stewart" every day of her life. Mary sat at the feet of Jesus. Woman need to sit at the feet of Jesus first to make life bearable! Desire ultimate holiness from the word! Use guides and things that encourage the reader to know the design of the tabernacle, the order and events of the stories in the bible and so much more. Try prayer and fasting. (Nervous breakdowns occur because a woman doesn't get her spirit fed!@!)
16. To Love Their Husbands
**Yes, love covers a multitude of sins. In men and in women. Some women WILL be out on the prowl looking to find faults with a woman's husband. She may come up with some corny #metoo hashtag and find a way to make a profit off of that man.... Historically, some men were forced into various forms of slavery and controlled by women because of vicious fornication practices.
**I don't know if a woman is wrong for loving another man in a godly way. The bible itself says that Jesus loved Mary and Martha. Were they married to their husband? I don't know those details. I don't see why it is wrong to have brotherly love. If a woman has brotherly love for (her own cousins, a man suffering, a persecuted man, a man of a different nationality who need justice and so forth). If a woman has godly love for her husband, then she would know what "brotherly love" means. Debi never used the idea of brotherly love in her book, hence the loaded details that "womanizing" was ok behavior in husband. Brotherly love keeps the innocent men out of concentration camps. Unconditional love is a HOLY and righteous thing which applies to all men not just that man with name on the "wedding certificate" paper.
**It is true that a woman and man can do this and that, but it takes "self-control" and serious fasting and prayer to understand that there were events in human life where men were out on the prowl, married to "one wife" yes, but sleeping with the slave women too to have children with them. So something was missing in the life of that man. A sense of the power of HOLY and righteous living lacking in the slave owner.
**Check God's laws to make sure that husband isn't a "womanizer." Please don't assume that lust is always OK, no matter what. It trails out into the "Wilderness" and other women and young girls can become his victim, even with his manipulative nonsense words. The false accuser can be a woman's husband. He may not be a sex-trafficker, but he may have something unholy in his response to victims in distress.
**Some men are not saved. That is obvious. The only thing to do is prayer, truthful discussions and in severe response consult an authority if he is misusing his sex-drive. Note: some women can misuse her sex-drive too. Don't assume that the "wife" is sanctified by pleasing a husband.....no she is sanctified by THE WORD.
17. To Love Their Children
**Yes, the rod of correction can be used effectively. I would say about under the age of 3 is all that is truly needed in a good family. The unruly children need the WORD in their heart. Pour knowledge of what "humility" means, stories of the bible (enter the promised land) and other highly effective elements to change the child's heart to do what is right. Parent Effectiveness Training is a good book, even though it is filled with modern psychology and experience dealing with troubled youth. Experience speaks to the heart of the matter.
**Children will desire knowledge if it is fed to them. If a person avoids the knowledge of "indigenous languages" because they are heathen, then that is not the indigenous people's fault. The Hebrew's were indigenous people too.....and followed a special calendar.......You still don't know when the ABIB happens to be and how the moon-rise time was calculated? Time to restore the tabernacle of knowledge....start with an almanac.
18. To Be Discreet
**Yes, be considerate. Be considerate of the condition of humanity and its flaws.
**Yes, don't complain when a husband would love to buy a wife a "nice thing" even though the finances are in trouble. What if the husband really truly can't afford something because it was illegal for him to get that "thing"? A happy wife would see the value in the PVC pipe I suppose ;)
**Try to encourage people to overcome their "gossip" power. Hmm. That requires diligent bible meditation. I guess. Don't assume Dinah was purposefully "looking" for herself to get raped. Don't assume Tamar knew she was going to be a victim.
**Some women want to find their "escape" too. Too much religion from the in-laws? Take me to the next rock concert please? (she likes how the love songs sound like the song-of-Solomon) I would like to go to the ski-slopes instead of bible-study with mother-in-law. (she can reflect on bible studies there better)
19. Chaste
**Yes, modesty is important. Outward appearance doesn't guarantee any ticket to heaven. Modli.co has some nice styles. Try sewing if the dresses are too expensive.
**No amount of modesty can prevent a lust-filled man from having lusty thoughts. Do I need to review what happened to wicked men in the middle east? Maybe a person needs to review how the history of America had many modest women but still had rape issues. Did you know that in puritan america there was a lot of out-of-wedlock pregnancy before the marriage even began. Don't assume something is true unless there is 100% proof.
20. Keepers at Home
**Good idea. There are ways to learn how to cook, sew and clean better in the home.
**I suppose it would depend on the "reason" for e-mail, chat-rooms and the like. Some women are trying to share the gospel......to people in nations that have no or little bible access..... If it is tempting to a woman, then leave the "cable connection" in the shed instead of the home where people dwell. Go camping for a while. But the husband is the "head" of the household and if he wants the internet in the home, then it is there to remain.
21. Good
**Yes, she would be merciful, not only with her words online, but her actions online too. (The Pearls are kind of so-so in the communication department)
**Yes, she would be knowledgeable to the people who are in need in her area. The more she knows about how to serve others in a diligent way, the better she will serve humanity rather than just her self. That includes knowledge of what happens to women who are abused in their marriage.
**To know what goodness looks like, would require a knowledge of the king of kinds (kings). He fulfilled the law and LOVED God's law (Psalm 119). Without that "knowledge" she may just be serving the goodness of the government and its provisions.
22. Obedient to their own husbands
**Yes, pay attention to the words of the husband. Don't assume that it is ok to chase after a new man who is already married and has a life of his own. What if that new man has better qualities than the husband? Go back home and pay attention and obey the husband. He doesn't want to deal with certain things. Wife, you won't want to hear from him about those types of things as it may end up creating a vicious cycle that leads to crime.
**Consider prayer if that husband is wanting wife to do something that is "ungodly." If he doesn't listen to God's word on the matter, then the wife is not responsible for his lack of trust. What if the husband wants to be like Abe and send Sarah to a different man's house? Keep prayer going because STD's can spread easily. I know a relative who almost died from those things before the age of 30!
**Remarriage. It will depend. If the wife departs from the man, then he is free to remarry. In fact the bible doesn't say anything is wrong with polygyny. If the man departs from the wife, then she is free to remarry in the LORD (hence it is better to remain single if the marriage didn't work, otherwise it is adultery). Placing all the "blame" on women for the infidelity of men is senseless (re-read Psalm 51). Placing all the abuse a woman endured on the fault of the woman is senseless. What if that man wanted to be a terrorist? Ephesians 5 explains enough about conditions that are SAFE for a woman in a husband's nurture. Trying to explain his bad behavior because a wife didn't do something right in Ephesians 5, defeats the purpose of explaining the entire purpose of the scripture!~! Enough is enough.
**Birthcontrol. Well, if that means that men treat women like sodomites because they are not supposed to have so many children, then that is what happens....But how is a wife supposed to obey a man who does not want to live a holy life? A wife wants to live the holy life but the husband is fearful, please don't blame the woman for that problem! A holy life starts with obedience in man.
**Headcovering. Seems that people are all upset over the style of hair a woman has. When she looses all of her hair in cancer, then is she still to blame for "disobedience"? When she starts to get wrinkles then is she being disobedient? Only the Lord is good and knows wisdom. His wisdom alone fed the Israelites in the wilderness. There wasn't a concern about "headscarves" in the hot dessert. It just was the style of "that time" supposedly. Well, maybe not. Even headscarves are found in man's imagination.....historically.
23. To obey or not to obey
**If your husband tells you to go and steal the pass code for the bank and to embezzle money from his or wife's current workplace, then well, a wife NEEDS to know God's laws in order to understand this principle of right vs. wrong. A GODLY wife will not give into a wicked man. EVER! Even if he is lacking punctuality in giving attention to that "minority" family and their basic need for food shelter and clothing!
**A wicked wife agrees with her husband's lack of sense in judging the outward appearances of other women. This is called "womanizing." It is a crime against God's word. Debi didn't seem to "get that" part right, so the frugal simple suffering man was a victim to their senseless judgments. Go back and study the Holocaust. Jewish women were treated like "prostitutes" and then thrown into the gas chamber!
**The wicked wife agrees with a husband who used violence against other woman in a marriage. She wanted to see that "old self-righteous man" become violent with the wife and then later that "wicked man" ended up in the nursing home. He ends up breaking windows. He ends up breaking the health-care worker's arms. He ends up doing xyz to other residents! The wife who doesn't KNOW God's laws, gives into favoring the VIOLENT MAN!!!! BEWARE!
24. Heirs together in the grace of life
**Yes, be graceful. We all need the gospel and we all need his grace!
**Ensure that the heirs to the grace of life leads to the kingdom of CHRIST (described in Psalms 119.....a heart to love God's laws and ways!) not to the kingdom of a Sodomite self-righteous approach (Eze_16:49 Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.) to his requirements of holiness. HIS kingdom started with acknowledging the PARAS HA (method of study of the law, divided into parts). HIS kingdom started with HIS fulfillment of the promise for man-kind. If a man doesn't know how to say ישוע in love and holiness, then there is a LOT of work to do for HIS kingdom!
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Following up on things and in summary, don't be a slave to one's own EGO. Such inflation is self-gratification which is a sort of slavery and apart from Holy living. Even some secular men are better at deflating their own EGO in order to bring about more right living. Just being an EGO maniac in Christian living is and instruction leads to deceptive living. A narcissism problem if you will.
As a way to expand upon the discussion of the "To Train Up a Child" book, which the far-left does not like this particular book written by this author because some families used the book in a bad way and lost the life of their children. I will discuss these points, that may not have been mentioned by this author who did have some encounters with the "Anabaptist community" to come up with their conclusions on how to properly raise a child in this wicked world.
**Positive point: They encourage children to stop being sassy. I tried to eliminate the sass in my youngest child and I have a godly saint of a child. He loves to join me for cooking and cleaning.
**Negative point: Children need to be spanked and only spanked from age 3 years old on up. Well, it seems that they jump on the "rod" as the best solution a whole lot and never really seek to allow the child to "devour" the HOLY BIBLE and what it means to live a more godly life.
**Positive point: They discourage the use of the TV and lots of screen activity due to negative influences. Yes this is good. It is wonderful if a family owns some land or is near a park for the children to run around and enjoy the gifts of God's creation.
**Negative point: They don't really want to JOYFULLY instruct out of the psalms and proverbs on a regular basis. The messianic way of understanding the scripture is to ENJOY meditation on the Psalms and proverbs regularly. If they used more of the "verses" from the psalms and proverbs, with a handy little question and answer session (like counselor style), there would be less need to use a rod in the first place! No more silly "tests" and "tricks" to get the children to do what the parents want. Instead, the child knows what GOD wants the child to do! YAY! Lighter burden and less need for a resource like No Greater Joy for every little detail of the child's life.
**Positive point: They want the children to be safe. The car is going to explode. Lets practice safety.
**Negative point: They are afraid that if the child is around someone who is unsafe (a sodomite who worked at the coffee shop and never touched the child), then the child is infected with bad morals for life! Hmmmmm. Now how did that doctor get his license to practice medicine again? Didn't the Pearl's rely on the health-care professional from time to time? A lot of healthcare workers need to help these people who ended up making the ungodly choices in their sexuality. Keeping away from "them" will not really keep the child from making bad choices and more right decisions. Show the children what Jesus said to Capernea about how it was worse than Sodom and Gomorah and go from there. So Jesus himself was in that "wicked" area and place. (Note: please DO pray for the medical professional as some men and women who work in the healthcare are not saved......and healthcare industry is a "religion" of some sort with this and that lingo)
**Negative Point: They seem to make it look like the Amish and other Anabaptist communities ONLY rely on the "rod" to make their children good. They only rely on constant training to help their children to listen to the parent's words......ummmmm NO WAY JOSE! The Anabaptist community historically rely on the conviction of the Holy Spirit! They want to embrace the sinner with the gift of God's word to help the sinner overcome his wicked heart! Many LOVE the fruits of the spirit! Many love brotherly (the demeanor and appearance of humility is like these Orthodox) and sisterly love as a wonderful gift from our HEAVENLY FATHER! Yes, some in the Anabaptist community do end up with mental illness and things of that nature, so they are not free from "all sin" just because they trained their children to do this and that.
**Negative Point: They don't seem to know that it is OK to expose the children to different religions. Yes, exposure helps the children sort-out good vs. evil. Unless that religion encourages terror or absolutely gross fornication practices, then there is nothing wrong with going to the "Chinese Restaurant" or the "Pow-wow." Attend a synagogue. The gospel goes to ALL the world and ALL the world needs to feel respect through HIS love and redemption.
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The bible itself says that the HOLY city is a bride! So the BRIDE KNOWS the word! Inside and out!
Rev_21:2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
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